3 Reasons Forgiveness Is The Basis Of Long-Lasting Friendships
I recently discussed renting a room from a friend. She gave me a date to move it. But over the past few times, when I spoke to her, she kept saying that her husband was opposed to another roommate. I told her that I did not want to create any problems and would find a room elsewhere. She insisted that I move and said that everything would be fine and her husband didn’t mind in the end.
The day I had to move came and I went. She didn’t try to contact me. I was furious and letting my anger get the better of me wrote to her that it would be nice to make a courtesy call, that it would not work. I also rudely reminded her of how I once gave her my car for two weeks just to squeeze into the shit she was doing towards a good friend. Three hours passed and I cooled down. I called her. She didn’t answer. I left a message in which I apologize for such rudeness in my text and asked to call me. I sent a message. I have to clarify that this friend prefers text messages to conversation.
Day passed. I called again. I knew what had happened because it had happened before. I went to Facebook and confirmed my suspicion that she had torn me apart. That evening I went to her house and tried to discuss the situation with her. Her roommate let me in, who was oblivious to the situation. Her husband met me with hostility and told me to come back later because they were eating. I told him that I drove for half an hour. You won’t come back later. Firstly, he is a trifle, so I ignored him and walked past him to my friend. She said that she never listened to the messages, only the first few words.
The next part drove a nail into the coffin of our friendship. She accused me of being “nasty” to her in the past and at her birthday celebrations, and her friends even commented that I was “nasty.” Well, that was news, because aside from this angry message, I was never disgusted with it. What she and her friends saw the day after her birthday was not “abomination.” They saw a man who had just had back surgery 4 months ago. They saw someone moving at the speed of a snail, barely collecting my clothes. They saw someone walking, and every step hurts. They saw someone who spoke little that morning after the celebration because I was struggling to be there with my girlfriend. She knew all this. I didn’t buy all this “unpleasant” comment and I knewwhat an excuse. In the end, she said she would contact me when she was ready.
It was a month ago.
You cannot maintain meaningful friendships without forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness Leads to Lasting Friendships
I have other friendships in which we had our disagreements and we made up. This is my oldest friendship. In particular, two women have been my friends for almost ten years. We always forgive each other for weaknesses and personal contradictions.
When you get to know the person, pay attention. You will find out if this friend is worth it. An early warning sign from this friend was that she told me that she often breaks off friendships. Her reasons seemed reasonable, but now I’m wondering if there was more to it.
Friends who are quick to forgive others in their lives show you good signs that you are on the right track with this person.
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2. Forgiveness shows maturity and recognition that we are only human.
No matter how hard you try in life to make everyone happy, this will never happen. We are only human. We make mistakes. We say the wrong thing at the wrong time. But we can always forgive.
This friend who interrupted me spent a lot of time with me. We have often supported each other during difficult times. A little forgiveness on both sides could fix this friendship if she only wanted to.
3. Anger only hurts you, not anger.
This recent one is pretty painful. I am still struggling to get rid of the pain. I try to forgive her even if she did it wrong.
Some friends are worth fighting for with mutual forgiveness. Some are worth letting go. And the truth is, you will get a lot more of the ones you need to get rid of than the ones worth keeping.
When someone leaves your life, do your best to wish them all the best in your heart. Your anger will still hurt you, not them.
So, here’s what I learned from all this:
Keep your head up. Find troubled friends, but wish them peace in your heart. Thank the friends who were by your side when you needed them. Because you want to keep these friends. They are hard to find.
When a friend you trust really hurts, take time to heal from him and then let him go. Move on to find new friends. Volunteering, attending meetups, and other events in your area are good ways to get started.
Think of friendship as an egg box. One rotten egg in a carton does not mean you have to throw away the entire carton. Come back there. Your future best friend is waiting.