A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding the Female G-Spot
It's debatable whether the female G-spot even exists. Here's how to find it and stimulate it if it does.
What is the G-spot? Where is the G-spot? Does the G-spot even exist?
These questions have puzzled pleasure-seeking men, women, and scientists since the G-spot was first identified in the 1940s by German researcher Ernst Gräfenberg, after whom the spot is named. (The G does indeed stand for Gräfenberg, although we wouldn’t recommend asking if you’re hitting your partner’s Gräfenberg Spot while getting hot and heavy in the bedroom.)
In 2012, a scientific review came to the conclusion that there isn’t much anatomical proof that every person with a vulva has a G-spot, but anecdotal evidence and “reliable reports” say that there is indeed a specific area inside the vagina that, when stimulated, may help some vulva-owners reach orgasm.
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Still, that was 2012, and we’re in 2020. Researchers have come a long way since then—kind of. They’ve come to speculate that the G-spot isn’t so much a spot as it (likely) an extension of the clitoris. Yes, you read that correctly. The clitoris is actually much larger than the rosebud-shaped knob at the apex of the labia. It extends up to five inches inside the body, which is why researchers are beginning to conceptualize the G-spot as not existing independently, but rather, as an entity deeply intertwined with other parts of the sexual anatomy.
Here’s a replica of what the clitoris actually looks like, FYI:
The anatomical relationships and dynamic interactions between the clitoris, urethral sponge, and anterior vaginal wall have led to the concept of a clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex. A groundbreaking article published in Nature Reviews in 2014 posited that when the CUV is “properly stimulated during penetration, [it] could induce orgasmic responses.”
In other words, the G-spot likely does exist, but it’s not some separate, mysterious entity. It’s another erogenous zone linked to the clitoris, and some vulva-owners can achieve an orgasm by stimulating it from inside the vagina.
READ MORE: How To Find Your Own G-Spot
“Sex researchers who focus on neurology have found that there are four nerves that innervate the genitals: the pelvic, pudendal, vagus, and hypogastric — and each take a different pathway through the body,” explains International Sex Hacker and Educator Kenneth Play. “The pudendal nerve that innervates the clitoris goes directly up the spine, resulting in a more localized sensation, whereas the vagus nerve that innervates the deepest area of the vagina, travels through the body in a meandering fashion, resulting in a more radiating, full-body orgasm.”
Still, many women aren’t convinced they have a G-spot. When British researchers asked 1,800 women if they believed they had a G-spot, only 56 percent said yes, which isn’t very encouraging for guys trying to strike orgasm gold with their fingertips. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you don’t try (unless your partner tells you that they prefer you keep things to their external clitoris).
And regardless if your partner can have G-spot-induced orgasm, if you know the right way to go about looking for the G-spot, your partner will enjoy the hunt, says Emily Morse, host of the podcast “Sex with Emily.” Here’s how to start exploring.
Make sure to warm up first.
First and foremost, make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are trimmed, because you’re going to be putting them in a very sensitive place, Morse says. Due to its tucked-away location, “fingers are usually most effective at finding and stimulating the G-spot,” she says.
Like anything else related to sex, foreplay is paramount, Morse stresses. Focus on kissing and caressing your partner’s lips, breasts, butt, and other non-genital hot spots for several minutes before getting down to business. “The G-spot is composed of tissue that swells when it becomes aroused,” Morse says. “If your partner’s already turned on, it will be much easier for you to find it and go about pleasing them.”
Even if your partner is moist from foreplay, Morse notes that a few drops of lubricant might make things more comfortable for them.
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Your partner won’t be able to fully enjoy the experience and reach orgasm “without a certain level of focus and calm on their part,” Play adds. “Facilitating an environment of trust and attention to sensation is essential. This can mean creating an organized, calming bedroom space for play, being focused and present with your lover, or even coaching them to focus on the sensations they’re feeling.”
How to find their G-spot:
While it’s not clear if every vulva-owner gets off on G-spot stimulation, there’s little debate about where the controversial pleasure point can be found in the folks who do. “It’s about 2 inches inside of the vagina, on the top side of the vaginal wall,” Morse says.
If your partner is on their back and you insert a finger with your palm facing the ceiling, the “top side” of their vagina is the spot you’ll touch by curling your finger in a come-hither motion, almost like you’re trying to stroke their belly button from the inside. If you’re having trouble, have your partner draw their knees back toward their chest to give your fingers better access, Morse says.
“The G-spot is pretty shallow, like a Real Housewife,” says Sofiya Alexandra, comedian and co-host of Private Parts Unknown, a sexualities podcast exploring sex, dating, and gender. “Don’t go digging for gold in there, it’s not your nose. Easy does it.”
How to stimulate their G-spot:
Now that you know where it is, how do you stimulate it? Just as you wouldn’t forcefully jam your whole penis into your partner in a single movement, you should work your finger in slowly and softly. “Do not thrust vigorously,” Morse warns. “Your partner is not a change purse and you are not searching for quarters.”
Once they seem comfortable with your finger inside of them, use that same curling motion to softly massage the top of their vagina with the pad of your finger. If you feel a ribbed or textured area, you’re on the right track to the G-spot, Morse says. “You’ll know you found it because it will feel like a bean-shaped bump and maybe more textured than the surrounding tissue,” she adds.
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Stroke the G-spot in a rhythmic motion, trying different speeds and amounts of pressure until you’ve found the one they most enjoy. “If your partner isn’t giving you feedback, don’t pick up the pace or increase the pressure,” Morse stresses. “Ask them how it feels, and adjust your moves accordingly.”
Play adds, “It’s important to keep in mind that different women will need different levels of pressure, speed, and friction to reach their ‘pleasure sweet spot’ as well as needing it in slightly different locations.”
How to take G-spot stimulation to the next level:
If you’ve successfully worked your way to the G-spot and your partner is into it, Morse recommends using your free hand to gently press on their belly, just above the top line of their pubic hair. Soft pressure on the outside can help stimulate their G-spot even more.
“The G-spot responds more to pressure than friction, so more of an up and down motion, rather than in and out, is what generally facilitates orgasms and/or squirting in women,” Play says.
Once you’ve revved them up with your fingers, rear-entry positions like doggy style are especially good at stimulating their G-spot, Morse adds. “Make sure your partner’s on all fours with their back arched slightly, as opposed to lying with their head on the bed. Try lifting their hips and thrusting in a downward motion so your penis can more easily rub the front wall of their vagina.”
Experiment and see exactly where their most pleasurable areas are. “In terms of pressure, once you find the right spot, a general rule of thumb is to build more pressure slowly until it is slightly too much, and then decrease it until it is just below ‘too much,’” Play says.
Now go have fun exploring.