Advice To Save Marriage – Because You Can’t Imagine Life Without Your Spouse
Advice to save marriage can come from many sources. But which of those sources can you believe? And can any of them actually hurt your marriage MORE?
There are very few things in life that are more heartbreaking and devastating than a divorce. Statistics show that divorce rates are at an all time high. Everyone has their fair share of problems. Single people, couples, married couples, etc. Can you picture what life would be like living without your spouse?
As hard as it is, keep that in mind when you look for advice to save your marriage, and that will give you the motivation to keep going. Because you are having such serious problems right now, this article provides some very good advice to save marriage.
Have you ever heard the saying “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.” When I first heard that, I thought it was ridiculous. But the further through life I got, the more sense it made. You have to think of ways to do what you want to do. Right?
For example – Pretend that you are going grocery shopping. Do you have a list of things that you need? Or do you just go in and buy what looks good at the moment? What happened when you got the groceries home?
When you planned what you wanted, you probably got most of what you needed. If you didn’t plan, you probably only remembered a tiny bit of what you needed, and you wound up having to go back to the store.
Before you even begin to look for advice to save marriage, you have to know what to look for. If you just look for advice to save marriage, you will find advice for everything from gambling to boredom. Think about what is really happening in your marriage.
There are many different kinds of marital issues, but what is the problem in YOUR marriage? If you can talk with your spouse about their thoughts, it will be easier. But you can do it on your own when you have to.
Usually (not always) when a marriage gets to this point, there are various problems. Take some time to think about these problems. Problems this big don’t happen overnight, They took a while to build up to this point. Right now we have to go back in time a little bit, and find some of the smaller problems – the ones that started this whole mess to begin with!
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Think of one of the bigger problems you’re having right now. Narrow that one down a little. For example – the two of you are having money issues. What led to this? Has one of you lost your job? Is there needless spending? Is there an addiction that is wasting money?
These are all smaller problems. Now you are closer to finding the root of the problem (or one of the problems), so you can fix the massive problem that you are trying to deal with right now. The smaller problems are so much easier to deal with. Of course, the best advice to save marriage is to stop these problems from getting worse to begin with, but that’s easier said than done.
Because you have identified at least one smaller problem, you can begin to take steps to fix your marriage. If you are having money issues, then start looking at why. In today’s economy, a lot of people are faced with job loss, house foreclosures, etc.
The most practical advice to save marriage is for BOTH of you talk about what is going on. I do know, from personal experience, how hard it is to even bring up the subject of money, but you have to. If there are family issues, then deal with that. WHY are there issues?
Try to make some kind of peace within the family. If the issue is one that can be solved, (like someone said something that hurt someone, and it has never been resolved) then talk about it with that person. Not all, but a lot of family issues are misunderstandings.
You two were so much in love at one time – close your eyes and remember those times. Let yourself remember those feelings. Believe it or not, bringing those feelings back will help you to save your marriage faster. Those feelings aren’t gone – they’re still inside both of you – they’re just buried under all of the hurt and stress that you’re under right now. As you remember a good time, remind your spouse of it. Recreate it, if you can.
Of course, bringing good memories back won’t take your problems away. But it WILL make both of you want to make your marriage work. It will put things into a different light, so to speak, and you will be able to come up with ways to solve the problems that you are dealing with.
Growing up, we had this fantasy picture of marriage in our minds that married couples were happy. That’s the way life ‘should be” – grow up, go to school, get married, have children, live happily ever after. REALITY, on the other hand, is quite different. BUT…
It would be very easy for me to say ‘remember the good times and forget the bad’. You really can’t do that. But because you are looking for advice to save marriage, you know, in your heart, that your marriage can survive.