Be Your Own Person – 5 Tips to Say Goodbye to Co-Dependency
Have you ever heard about the subject of co-dependency? Co-dependency is no mystery, and yet, there is a need to ask that question because many people are deeply co-dependent on key persons in their lives without knowing it. This means that you may be showing signs of co-dependence on someone without your knowledge.
Co-dependency is a personal behavioral problem that comes with the following symptoms:
· A desperate need for attention and affection
· A constant need for affirmation
· The desire or need to solve other people’s problems
· Finding value and meaning from other people
· Inability to say “no”
· Holding others responsible for their problems
A co-dependent person simply has no sense of himself and his value as an individual. His sense of himself and his value is dependent on how others see him. They are who others think they are. And they feel worthless without the persons or things they have become co-dependent on. Usually, it’s not just other people in general, but a certain individual, a key player in their lives.
1. Focus on yourself. Prioritize your own needs and solve your own problems before you spend time on other people’s needs and problems. List down your needs and find ways to achieve them. List down your interests and make time for them. List down your personal goals and make plans on how to reach them. List down your strengths and take pride in them, your weaknesses and take measures to overcome them. This way, you can find pleasure and fulfillment in yourself.
2. Identify unhealthy relationships. Next, evaluate the relationships you have, starting from the closest ones. Identify which of these relationships are having an unhealthy effect on you. To save yourself from co-dependency, you have to detach yourself from such unhealthy relationships. Sometimes, all it takes is some time and space away from the relationship, but in some cases, this may mean a total giving up of the relationship.
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3. Practice saying “no.” Learn to master the elusive art of saying “no.” Put up boundaries and rules for yourself, and make sure to live by them.
4. Do not project. Do not project the emptiness you feel inside on other people or other habits. Sometimes, people who detach themselves from co-dependent relationships simply move on to another one or replace the person with a bad habit such as alcohol or drugs. None of these will solve your problem. You have to find your inner being and inner power within yourself.
5. Get subliminal therapy. All you need are a few subliminal videos and some subliminal CDs and you’ll be a powerful, positive, self-loving person in no time. Subliminal therapy is a method focused on reprogramming your subconscious mind. Since there is a struggle in your conscious mind, this means that it is actually your subconscious that is deeply rooted in the co-dependent relationship. Your subconscious is so used to having and depending on a person or habit, so it holds on to it no matter how your conscious mind tries to get rid of it.
So you have to change the way your subconscious is programmed. Subliminal videos that send empowering messages of independence can help do this without requiring any effort from you. You just have to watch the videos and let your subconscious absorb the hidden messages in them. Messages that can help erase co-dependency include:
I am independent.
I find peace and fulfillment within myself.
I find happiness in just being me.
I thrive on my independence.
I am at peace with myself.