The Relationship Tips
Take a fresh look at your lifestyle.

Before You Consider Divorce

6

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Divorce advice, separation counselling and good legal advice can really help you through a very turbulent and painful time.

If you’re facing a divorce, you may feel that your partner is pulling all the strings. This might leave you feeling out of control and frightened. Perhaps you feel you’ve been ’abandoned’ in some kind of ‘no-man’s land, just’ waiting for the next onslaught of bad news. Coping with divorce can seem nothing but a nightmare.
Life after a separation often resembles a roller-coaster ride with all its foreseeable (and unforeseeable) ups and downs. There are nearly always many twists and turns before the final Decree Nisi.
Just before we look at how you can cope with divorce, if you think there’s a chance you can still save your marriage then I’d love to help you with that too. Have a look at The Magic of Making Up.

The ending of a relationship and divorce advice

Separation and/or divorce can unfortunately be a lengthy process. But I can’t tell you how important it is to keep the channels of communication open.
The right divorce advice from appropriate professionals can save your sanity and will ensure that you’re coping with your divorce the best you can.
Communicating effectively when you’re both emotional can seem at times impossible. However, remaining at the very least polite and co-operative is vital if you have children.  
You may be splitting up, but you are going to be parents for the rest of your lives.

Coping with divorce

– different needs at home and in counselling

By the time a couple finally goes to see a counsellor, one of the partners may have been preparing to leave or end the marriage for some time. (You might want to have a look at this page on the Causes of Divorce). He or she often still ‘cares’ very deeply, but probably only like a brother or sister. The other partner usually feels as if the world around them has collapsed.
Both partners are on a different time-scale. Their needs, in counselling and at home, are very different and they each cope differently with divorce depending on where they are in the process.  The partner who wants to end the marriage wants distance. They’re often afraid that any show sympathy may be seen as a sign of hope that separation or divorce can be averted. The other desperately needs the comfort of a close attachment. They need to be able to ask questions, and they want answers, commitment, and reassurance.
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