Effective Communication Tips For Improving Your Relationship
The quality of your relationship is determined by the quality of your communication. If you want to improve your relationship you need to work on your communication skills and use more effective ways to connect with your partner. The following article will show you some tips on how to use effective communication to improve your relationship.
Tip #1: Give your full attention, be present
Many couples nowadays are busy with their day to day activities and after the honeymoon period is over and the relationship has become part of the furniture, we often fail to really be present for each other. Sounds like a simple advice however it needs absolute focus and determination. It also requires you to take responsibility for the reasons that keep you locked away in your world. It might be that you have to start looking at the reasons why you are often frustrated and impatient, address it and stop putting it onto your partner
Tip #2: Put some time aside every day to communicate with each other
Following on from the first tip make a commitment to your relationship by putting time aside to share with your partner. In my work with couples I suggest that they put aside at least 20 minutes every day to download about the events of the day and clear any lingering issues. Make sure to allow time for each one of you where the other listens with intent, which brings us to the next tip.
Tip #3: Listen with focus and intent
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Talking to each other is the first step and needs to be supported by the other person’s listening. There is a big difference between simply hearing what your partner is saying and listening with the intent and focus to truly understand what they mean, as opposed to what you assume they wanted to say.
Active listening has been a fashionable word in communication courses and for good reason. It is the key to make someone feel understood, valued, taken seriously, which is what you hopefully want your partner in a loving relationship to experience.
Tip #4: Don’t store things up
If you are committed to make time each day to connect with your partner using the tips mentioned here, use this opportunity to bring up little things that might otherwise turn into big issues. Storing things up only fosters resentment which is poisonous for a relationship. Be mindful of the way you broach the subject, which I will explain in the last tip.
Tip 5: Use ‘I’ statements, instead of ‘you’
If you are talking about what has happened and how it made you feel, as opposed to evaluating the situation or judge and blame your partner you will have a much bigger chance of actually being listened to. Even when you are talking about a touchy subject, remember to be clear, polite and appreciative. You will get further if you gently complain instead of blaming.