The problem with ‘friends with benefits’ on campus
By Gbemisola Adesola
Undoubtedly, the term ‘Friends with benefits’, also known as FWB, has become a common trend in our institutions of learning.
According to Merriam Webster, ‘Friends with benefits’ is a friend with whom one has casual sexual relations without commitments. It involves sexual partners that usually enjoy the freedom of having constant sex when needed without any relationship commitment.
The male partner involved tends to enjoy regular sex benefits while the lady involved also enjoys material things in return on a mutual ground. The aim is to satisfy each other’s needs.
During my year one in school, I witnessed something like that. A close friend of mine got involved in relationship with various guys due to lack of contentment. She felt she was not getting enough from home and she also wanted to top the list of the “Bigger girls” on campus. It later ended on sad note because she lost concentration and had to leave school in her third year because of numerous carryovers and sexually transmitted diseases.
Ignorance, financial dependency, lack of parental guidance, academic dependency, comfort, peer pressure, loneliness, social influence,among others, are some of the factors responsible for such.
Financial dependency is also a major factor that leads one into this bad relationship. Lack of basic school needs can make a student toe that wrong path. These sets of students do not want to be committed, but they only see the relationship as the best option to get what they want. The saying: “You use what you have to get what you need” sums it up.
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Also, lack of parental guidance is a factor. Some students misbehave when they have access to freedom outside home. Some parents neglect their children once they gain admission into higher institutions, they feel there is no need for frequent monitoring of their children while in school.
Academic dependency has also been identified as a factor. Most female students tend to rely on male students for good academic performance. Hence, female students pay back with what they can offer like sex, performing some domestic chores, washing of their partners clothes etc. The two partners involved most times are not ready to take responsibility, so they opt for abortion.
And frequent abortions can result to damage of the uterus and sometimes death for the female partners. It can also lead to damages that can’t be repaired or fixed for life.
The act has also led to domestic violence and abuse between the partners involved.The female partner is always at the receiving end.
Indeed, ‘Friends with benefits’ relationship on our campuses is a threat to good moral conduct among youths, especially students.
However, to curb this act, parents have a lot to do. They should endeavour to instill good attitudes into their children because a child that is well trained will be cautious and will not be wrongly influenced.
Also, proper upbringing of a child by the parents is necessary. Parents should follow-up on their children even while in school. They should monitor their activities and also check on them frequently without informing them. Parents should also provide basic needs for their children in school.
The school authorities should also set regulations, and disciplinary measures that will guide the conduct of students, especially those who stay off campus.
The school authority should also try to provide enough hostels that will accommodate all students to aid their effective monitoring.
Adesola studies at Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba-Akoko (AAUA).