Trust forms the foundation of our relationships, both personal and professional. Whether it’s a friend, family member, partner, or colleague, trust is essential for fostering connection and emotional security. Yet, psychology warns us that certain personality types are inherently less trustworthy due to patterns of behavior that undermine trust and can harm our well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore nine types of individuals psychologists advise us to be cautious about. From the subtle manipulator to the overt chronic liar, understanding these behaviors can help us identify people who may not have our best interests at heart. Reflect on these types and consider whether you’ve encountered any of them in your own life. By recognizing these traits, you can make better decisions about whom to keep close and whom to approach with caution.
In This Article
1. The Chronic Liar
Traits:
Chronic liars distort the truth habitually, often creating their own versions of reality. This can range from minor exaggerations to elaborate fabrications. While some chronic liars may lie out of insecurity or fear of rejection, others might lie simply out of habit, finding it difficult to distinguish between truth and fiction.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Building trust with someone requires transparency and honesty. Chronic liars, however, erode trust by making it impossible to discern when they’re being truthful. They may justify their lies as “harmless,” but even small fabrications can accumulate, leading to greater distrust over time. Psychologically, lying can also stem from issues like low self-esteem, personality disorders, or even compulsive behavior patterns, making it challenging for them to stop.
Tips to Spot Them:
Pay attention to inconsistencies in their stories or if they frequently contradict themselves. Also, observe how they react when they’re caught in a lie – if they quickly come up with more fabrications, this may be a sign they have a deeply ingrained habit of lying.
2. The Manipulator
Traits:
Manipulators are experts at using psychological tactics to control others and achieve their own goals. They may charm, guilt-trip, or even subtly threaten to get their way. They typically mask their true intentions under a facade of concern, support, or friendliness, making them difficult to detect.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
A manipulator’s motives are self-serving, and they lack genuine care for others’ needs or boundaries. They use tactics that prey on others’ emotions and vulnerabilities to maintain control, often leaving their victims feeling confused, insecure, or drained. This exploitation can have lasting effects on a person’s self-esteem and sense of independence.
Tips to Spot Them:
Watch for behavior patterns where they make you feel obligated to them or if they subtly push you into situations that feel uncomfortable. If they’re always looking for ways to make you feel guilty, uneasy, or in debt to them, this is a strong indicator of manipulation.
3. The Narcissist
Traits:
Narcissists often exhibit an inflated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior to others. They crave admiration and attention, yet they lack empathy and rarely consider others’ needs or feelings. Narcissism can manifest in various degrees, from a self-centered personality to full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Because they prioritize their own interests above everything else, narcissists often exploit or deceive those around them to maintain their image. In relationships, they’re prone to “love-bombing” initially, only to disregard the other person’s feelings when their needs aren’t being met. Their inability to empathize makes it difficult for them to truly invest in the well-being of others, leading to one-sided and often toxic relationships.
Tips to Spot Them:
Look for signs of self-centeredness, like interrupting conversations, always steering attention back to themselves, or quickly disregarding others’ feelings. If they constantly need praise and validation, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
4. The Gossip
Traits:
Gossips thrive on sharing personal details about others, often embellishing or twisting information for dramatic effect. They enjoy being in the know and frequently circulate rumors, sometimes without verifying the truth.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Someone who habitually gossips lacks respect for personal boundaries and confidentiality. Trusting them with your own secrets or vulnerabilities can be risky, as they may share your information with others for entertainment or validation. Gossips often struggle with self-esteem issues, using others’ misfortunes to feel better about themselves.
Tips to Spot Them:
If someone frequently shares private information about others, chances are they’ll do the same with your secrets. Notice if they regularly initiate conversations about others’ personal matters or seem to enjoy relaying negative information.
5. The Commitment-Phobe
Traits:
Commitment-phobes avoid making or maintaining emotional or long-term commitments. They may enter into relationships, friendships, or projects with initial enthusiasm, only to withdraw once things become too serious.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
People who fear commitment often avoid vulnerability, which is a crucial component of trust. In relationships, they may be inconsistent or emotionally distant, leading to uncertainty and emotional strain for those involved with them. Their unpredictability and tendency to leave things unfinished can make it difficult to establish a solid foundation.
Tips to Spot Them:
If someone avoids serious discussions about the future or constantly finds excuses to keep things “casual,” they may have commitment issues. Also, look out for people who frequently cancel plans or withdraw emotionally when things start to deepen.
6. The Blamer
Traits:
Blamers are experts at shifting responsibility onto others. They are quick to find faults in everyone else and rarely take accountability for their own mistakes. They often have difficulty accepting criticism and tend to view themselves as victims.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Trust relies on mutual accountability and maturity. Blamers undermine this foundation by deflecting responsibility and refusing to own their actions. This can create a toxic environment where honest communication becomes nearly impossible, as blamers tend to overreact to even constructive feedback.
Tips to Spot Them:
If someone consistently avoids acknowledging their role in conflicts or mistakes, they may be a blamer. Notice if they often criticize others or if they tend to react defensively when questioned about their own actions.
7. The Jealous Friend
Traits:
A jealous person often struggles to be happy for others and may show passive-aggressive behavior, subtle competition, or outright hostility when others achieve something. They tend to view success as a limited resource and often feel threatened by others’ accomplishments.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Trust is built on support and encouragement. A jealous friend’s inability to genuinely celebrate your achievements can create a toxic dynamic, leading to covert resentment and competition. This kind of relationship drains emotional energy and can erode one’s confidence.
Tips to Spot Them:
If a friend’s reactions seem insincere or they frequently downplay your successes, they may harbor feelings of jealousy. Also, be wary if they frequently compare themselves to you or if they seem happier when you’re struggling rather than thriving.
8. The Controller
Traits:
Controllers need to dictate how things are done and often impose their preferences on others. They use subtle and overt forms of control to dominate situations, frequently making others feel as if their opinions and choices are invalid.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Controllers prioritize power over partnership. By dominating situations, they make it difficult for others to feel comfortable expressing their true selves. Over time, being around a controlling individual can erode your confidence and autonomy, making it challenging to maintain self-respect.
Tips to Spot Them:
Watch for individuals who make decisions on your behalf or try to dictate what you should do. Controllers may also use guilt, criticism, or other manipulative tactics to push their agenda.
9. The Unreliable Person
Traits:
Unreliable people rarely follow through on their promises, often leaving others waiting or disappointed. They may frequently cancel plans, miss deadlines, or make commitments they struggle to honor.
Why They’re Untrustworthy:
Reliability is essential in any trusting relationship. When someone consistently fails to keep their word, it creates an environment of uncertainty and frustration. Over time, this unpredictability undermines the emotional security needed for trust.
Tips to Spot Them:
If someone repeatedly lets you down or makes excuses for not showing up, they may be unreliable. Pay attention to patterns rather than isolated incidents, and consider how often they make you question their dependability.
Key Takeaways
- Self-Protection Is Essential: Understanding these traits can empower you to set healthy boundaries, protecting your emotional and mental well-being.
- Look for Patterns, Not Just Instances: Occasional missteps are human, but recurring patterns often indicate deeper issues.
- Boundaries Are Your Best Defense: Establishing clear boundaries with untrustworthy individuals can prevent unnecessary emotional strain.
Interactive Conclusion
Trust is delicate, and recognizing these untrustworthy traits can help you make more informed choices about your relationships. Which of these types resonates most with your experiences? Have you encountered anyone like this, and if so, how did it impact you?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. If you’ve successfully navigated a challenging relationship with one of these types, feel free to offer your tips to other readers. Let’s foster a space of shared wisdom and mutual support.
