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Emotionally Secure Love: 10 Things to Avoid in Healthy Relationships

In the intricate dance of love and relationships, emotional security plays a pivotal role in ensuring a lasting and fulfilling connection. Emotionally secure people understand the significance of trust, vulnerability, and open communication.

They steer clear of behaviors that can jeopardize the emotional stability of their relationships. In this article, we’ll explore the 10 things emotionally secure people never do in their relationships, shedding light on how you can foster emotional security in your own love life.

They Never Play Games

One hallmark of emotionally secure individuals in relationships is their refusal to engage in mind games. They recognize that open and honest communication is the foundation of a strong connection. Manipulative tactics like silent treatment, passive-aggressiveness, or jealousy-inducing behaviors are off-limits.

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They Don’t Keep Score

Emotionally secure people understand that love is not a competition. They don’t tally up who did what, when, and how many times. Instead, they give and receive love freely, without expecting something in return. This selflessness fosters a sense of trust and reciprocity in the relationship.

They Avoid Defensiveness

Healthy relationships involve open conversations about feelings and concerns. Emotionally secure individuals never become overly defensive when their partner expresses their thoughts or concerns. They listen empathetically, seeking to understand their partner’s perspective rather than shutting them down.

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They Don’t Suppress Their Feelings

Suppressing emotions can lead to resentment and emotional distance. Emotionally secure individuals recognize the importance of expressing their feelings. They communicate their emotions honestly and constructively, creating an environment where both partners feel safe to share their innermost thoughts.

They Never Dismiss Their Partner’s Emotions

In emotionally secure relationships, both partners respect each other’s emotions, no matter how different they may be. They don’t belittle or dismiss their partner’s feelings, but instead, they validate and support them in their emotional journeys.

They Avoid Overreactions

Emotionally secure people are adept at keeping their emotions in check during challenging moments. They refrain from overreacting to minor issues and approach conflicts with a calm and rational mindset. This level-headedness helps prevent unnecessary drama and escalation.

They Don’t Keep Secrets

Trust is the cornerstone of any emotionally secure relationship. These individuals understand that secrets can erode that trust. They are transparent and open with their partners, sharing both the joys and challenges of their lives.

They Never Resort to Blame

When faced with relationship problems, emotionally secure individuals don’t engage in a blame game. Instead, they focus on finding solutions together. They take responsibility for their own actions and encourage their partner to do the same, fostering a cooperative and supportive atmosphere.

They Avoid Stonewalling

Emotionally Secure Love: 10 Things to Avoid in Healthy Relationships
Emotionally Secure Love: 10 Things to Avoid in Healthy Relationships

Stonewalling, or refusing to engage in a conversation or communicate, is a destructive behavior in relationships. Emotionally secure individuals actively engage in conversations, even when they are difficult or uncomfortable. They prioritize finding resolutions over avoidance.

They Don’t Seek Validation from External Sources

Emotionally secure individuals find their validation and self-worth within the relationship rather than seeking it from external sources like social media or the opinions of others. This inner strength allows them to maintain a stable and secure connection with their partner.


In the intricate tapestry of love and relationships, emotional security is the golden thread that holds everything together. Emotionally secure people understand that love is built on a foundation of trust, vulnerability, and open communication. By avoiding these 10 destructive behaviors, they create a safe and nurturing environment where love can flourish.

If you aspire to foster emotional security in your own relationships, take a page from the book of emotionally secure individuals. Embrace open and honest communication, prioritize trust and empathy, and avoid destructive behaviors. By doing so, you can build a love that withstands the tests of time and adversity, ensuring a fulfilling and enduring connection with your partner.

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